As well as in the physical plane each organ (liver, brain, kidneys, heart) acts a as specific and necessary, in the emotional universe each emotion also acts a as of equal importance. Emotions exist that inform to us about which we have (joy, gratitude, confidence, solidarity, etc.) and other that inform to us about it lacks that us (sadness, fear, envy, blame, etc.) To these last ones them usually it is called “refusals”, and they are not it. They are in fact most valuable signals that send to problems that we are experimenting then.
For example, the fear is the anguish sensation that informs to us that there is a disproportion between the threat that we faced and the resources that we must to face it. If the danger has “value ten” and the resources are also “value ten” will not take place fear. If however, the resources are “value five”, the fear will arise and be the signal that warns to us of that disproportion. In that sense we can compare to the fear with the red light of the board of the automobile that ignites and indicates that there is little gasoline. The problem is not the light but what puts in evidence: that combustible lack. The red light is a most valuable signal that sends to us to solve that problem. What we needed is to learn to deal to the fear with the same effectiveness whereupon we dealed with the light the board, and that is possible.

Erroneous beliefs
One of the factors that it disturbs that possibility is the mistaken beliefs that we have about the fear. Generally we thought that is “emotion negative”, that is signal of weakness and cowardice, that is good not to listen it because but we would not do anything, that the men are not scared… that the problem is the fear and that if by the way that outside we managed not to feel it, we would not have the sterile anguishes that the fear brings to us. When we leaned in those ideas we covered and we mistreated to the timid aspect and there it is when the fear begins to become a problem that paralyzes and makes suffer.

What we do with the fear
It is good for remembering that not only we felt fear but next we reacted before that fear that we felt, and can feel shame, rages, scorn, impotence or fear to be scared. That is to say, an emotional reaction in chain takes place, and the interesting thing is that according to she is this second reaction will be the destiny of the original fear. If it gives fear us to feel fear we tried to suppress it because it seems to us that it is going to us to exceed and to disorganize. If it gives rage us we got angry with the timid part and it and usually we punish it. If it shames to us we hide, it. And thus, each of these second reactions produces a specific attitude towards the original fear. To the timid part its condition worsens to him then and has two threats: external (the examination, the disease, the rejection, or what is the reason for the fear) and the intern, that is the own inner reaction.

The inner reaction
Matías consulted to me by fear to the solitude. I asked to him: “If you imagined that timid part was opposite what you would say to him? … and watching towards that space it said to him: “I am very of that absurd fear that you that does not let to me live… me desire of hit give so that you wake up…! I invited” It then to that it took the place from the timid part and saw how that felt when listening. From it responded there: “Now I feel worse and more only than before…” This she is one of the typical inner reactions that aggravate the original fear. In her they add the ignorant anger that thinks that slapping to part it is going the timid it to transform, and the belief, ignorant and also frequents, of which there are absurd fears. Both comprise of the evaluation that we do about which we felt, and this evaluation is continuous, we are or no, conscientious of it. Some of those reactions indeed help to change us and others, like which we described just, us leave scared more than before.
And this thus is not because the evaluator is bad but because he is ignorant and it does not know how to help. We are both, as much the one that was scared like it evaluates which it. We are that equipment, and according to they are related to each other will be our psychological destiny: chronic dissatisfaction or growth. And since it is a so important function What can make the evaluator, for example before the fear, to take advantage of that emotion instead of to only suffer it?

First: To legitimize it and to listen to it. To legitimize is not to allow. It is not: “It is all good, and… to another thing”. That anesthesia but nonaid. To legitimize means that it is clear that there is a problem, but that suffers who it does not deserve reproach for that reason, but aid. There are people who say: “I do not listen to timid part because she never heard if it she would do nothing”. That attitude works during a very short time but the listened to and mistreated timid part does not continue growing and at some time, activated by a perhaps smaller situation, the accumulated fear bursts in yet of blow and it takes place what we know like panic crisis. We could compare it with an angina. We recognize if it and we attended, it arrives until there and it sends. If we did not listen to nor we take care of that signal, it will grow and pneumonia will become. The panic crisis is the psychological equivalent of this pneumonia.

Secondly: We have listened to once it, to ask to him: How need that tries to you and speaks to you so that you can feel accompanied and helped by me? It is important to know that if the sufficient time occurs him, that part is timid it discovering, and the clinical experience sample that treatment that needs, in the majority of the cases does not agree with which it receives daily.

Third party: To try to treat it finishes as it asking. That is obtained when the inner evaluator is connected with an essential component of its roll, and is that its task consists of evaluating to enrich, does not stop to destroy to the evaluated thing.

That a part of one same one speaks to him to another one and later that other answers to him, as it happens between two people, seems something strange, but in fact that inner conversation exists, although we do not perceive it with clarity. This exercise tries to amplify those voices and to transform its antagonism into cooperation. When is inner cooperation between the evaluator and the evaluated one can find, before each situation that wakes up fear, which are the psychological resources that lack to be able to face it and how to develop these resources. And when such resources cannot be developed, retirement, to the agreed being, stops being conflicting because it comprises of the right that attends to me to choose the most propitious conditions for my performance. As the I-Ching says: To know how to undertake retirement correctly is not strength but weakness sign… Insofar as one is exercised in the unfolding of these inner dialogues, the fear is recovering its lost original dignity and returns to be the most valuable signal of alarm that is.

Norberto Levy